Palinoia
by Emorull
Summary: Palinoia : The obsessive repetition of an act until it is perfect or  mastered
Castiel's eyes leaked with pain and devastation, they burned as they rained pure and wretched grief. His mouth crumpled in agony as his hands feebly scratched against one another, scratched and clawed at the blood drying against his skin like a mark that would never allow forgetting this all.

His angel blade clangs against the floor, the metallic noise didn't even make Castiel flinch in his determined, maniac frenzy to get the blood off his hands, the angel stumbles backward into the wall opening weeping. Broken gasps that fill the air quickly gain a watery quality as he slowly slides down the wall into a trembling mess clawing at the red staining itself.

Dean scrambles to the angel, ganking anything stupid enough to get in between him and the crying, hurt angel. "Cas!" He collapses to his knees in front of the angelic creature, "Cas?" The hunter's hands soften from grim gauntlets of death to soft, caring hands as they separate Castiel's hands from one another in a firm but gentle movement, Castiel stills somewhat, little erratic twitches make him shake like a malfunctioning toy. His eyes move back and forth, staring into Cas's face and eyes, imploring for a response. If the angel would tell him what was wrong he would rip the world open with his soft mortal hands to fix it.

He lifts a hand to caress Castiel's trembling jaw, to hold the angel's face still so his teeth stop clacking against each over from shaking. He runs his thumb back and forth over his divine cheekbone, the angel gives a shuddery sigh.

The angel shakes his head at the shape shifter's corpse strewn on the floor. Dean glances at it quickly, it's dead, Castiel had slit it's throat with the true efficiency of a warrior of Heaven, with the wrath of a Seraphim.

"It was wearing your face when I flip it on it's back." Castiel croaks, "I thought…. I..." The angel's voice breaks and it's makes Dean's throat ache. "Naomi." Cas manages with guilty, downcast eyes.

"Cas." Dean mumbles, pulling the divine and powerful and crying creature in against his chest, rubbing his head reassuringly. "She can't mess with you anymore," Dean nestles his chin onto the crown of Castiel's head protectively, " m'kay?"

"Not really." The angel whispers.

Dean's heart clenches, how bad it must be for Cas to admit that makes his eyes burn. "Anything I can do to help." He whispers back roughly.

"Just hold me for a little longer." The angel's arms hesitantly snake around Dean, "Please."

"Kay." Dean rubs the angels back a little, "I can do that."

Cas relaxs immediately against the hunter with a watery sigh as he turns his wet nose into Dean's neck and Dean just holds him while he shudders with tears that trail from Cas's face to Dean's neck where they soak into his coat and shirt and dry all sticky.

Dean rubs the angel's trench coat clad back a few times and tries to not think about the neatly condensed package of rage in the corner of his thoughts that is purely for Naomi and breaking Cas like this.

Dean knew ever since that demonic angel Cas had been obsessively concerned over his will being, it had started small. Cas asking if they need back up, Dean feeling the angel;'s presence but not seeing him, Cas checking their weapons, Cas inquiring about whether or not Dean had ate or slept or how the nightmares where until Dean got hurt in a hunt.

Honestly, Dean didn't remember much, he was ganking a bitch when sudden;y he was flat on his back and in so much pain it addled his brain something fierce until there was bright, wild lights and suddenly Dean was fine and super embarrassed as Castiel transported him two states away.

That's when Dean had realized that Cas wasn't over Naomi and his heavenly condition training.

That Cas felt guilty or scared or something, that it had busted Cas up, put a crack in the angel's harddrive. That the idea of killing Dean scared him, that maybe Castiel didn't quite trust himself to not kill Dean.

Cas gives a shaky sob into his shoulder and then pulls back, "Better now." He mumbles with downcast eyes.

"Really?" Dean just pulls him back, "Cause I don't think so."

Cas collapse back against the hunter, the tears are slow now, his eyes and nose are red and his breathing watery, Dean gives him a little squeeze. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I.. A liability?"

Dean takes the angel's head between his hands, gently cradling the idiot's skull, "Don't you ever think that." The hunter instructs the angel fiercely. "Just don't." He scratches the angel's scalp, "Kay?"

"Okay."


End file.
